Rubber Bands
by Squadle
Summary: One day, while fishing through his closet for clean clothes, Naruto finds a rubberband ball. What happens when you give Naruto rubberbands? Chaos! Misery! AND PAIN!
1. Chapter 1

**Yay! Here's the first chapter! I hope you all like it!**

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Rubber bands

Naruto slowly opened his eyes. He was shivering; he had kicked off his sheets in the middle of the night and the fan was on full blast.

"Damn fan," He muttered, throwing his pillow at it. Oops. Bad idea.

"AAAAHHH! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! GET'EMOFFGET'EMOFF GET'EMOFFGET'EMOFFGET'EMOFF! AHHHHH!" He screamed, loosing himself in an extremely large cloud of feathers. He franticly waved his arms, trying to clear them out of his way, but instead hit his knight stand, knocking over his lamp, stubbed his toe on his bed, then fell face first on the cold, hard floor.

_GRRRRRR... _One feather landed softly on his nose. Naruto blew it up, but it came back down again on his face. "I. will. Crush. you. BELIEVE IT YOU STUPID FEATHER!" He roared, stomping on it over and over again. The fan, still spinning at high speed, picked up the feather and blew it out the window.

He took a running start at his bed, which was positioned in the window the feather blew out of, and jumped onto it and out the window. He had so much speed and momentum that he had no control over his landing. In fact, he didn't land at all. He crashed head on with the tree trunk of the tree outside his window. He crashed to the ground, landed on his head, betting a mammoth bump with a bump with a bump with a bump with a bump with a bump with a bump with a bump on it. "FINE! BUT ONE DAY, I WILL FIND YOU, AND YOU WILL DIE A VERY PAINFUL DEATH! BELIEVE IT!"

After he recovered from his feather incident, (It took almost forty five minutes) Naruto walked slowly into his kitchen, searching for bread among his life time supply of ramen.

"Bread….where's the bread…." He muttered, pushing aside dirty dishes on his counter. (He is such a slob that he never bothers to wash them or even put them in the sink.)

"AHA! BREAD!" He yelled rejoicefully, holding up a loaf with about three slices of green, moldy bread. "So much for that," he said, tossing the back into the cabinet. "What to eat….What to eat…" He mumbled, pushing aside his ramen. "OOH! How 'bout ramen? Again?" He asked himself. In just a few minutes, he was happily slurping the noodles.

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It wasn't really the fact that he didn't enjoy days off, but the fact that Naruto thought was falling behind Sasuke. But he told himself that he could always train later in the day, taking his time in the morning but train twice as hard as he normally would. But Sasuke was probably already on the training grounds, perfecting his jutsu and his Sharingan, leaving Naruto in the dust.

Just the thought made him mad. He gulped down the rest of his ramen, adding it to the already giant pile of empty containers on his counter. He ran straight for his closet, searching for a clean pair of clothes.

Naruto dug through the endless pile of dirty clothes, coming to one of his orange jackets that looked clean enough to wear. But when he turned it around—

"EW! THAT'S DISGUSTING!" he yelled, tossing it out the window. It had what looked to be the remains of ramen on it, like he had gotten into a ramen eating contest and ended up hurling all over himself. Naruto kept up his search, until he finally found something clean to wear.

Just as he was preparing to leave, something in the back of his closet caught his eye. Naruto dove right in, expecting buried treasure or something—

"A rubber band ball?" He said, holding up the colorful assortment of rubber bands. It was a little bigger than his fist, and must have had more than a hundred rubber bands on it.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Naruto asked himself, and threw it against the wall and prepared to leave. It bounced back, and hit him in the back of his head, creating another bump (somehow the others managed to miraculously disappear.)

"OW!" He yelled and kicked it. This time it came back and hit his fore head, sending him back onto the ground.

"Damn rubber band ball," he muttered. Then it hit him, when he remembered Sasuke, and every one else he knew, while the rubber band ball rolled slowly up to his face.

He knew exactly what he was going to do with it. This was gonna be good.

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**Hope you liked it! Please leave some reviews as you go!**


	2. First up, SASUKE!

**WHOOT! HERE"S CHAPTER TWOOOO!**

**First up, Sasuke!**

_1. Sasuke_

_2. Sakura_

_3. Kakashi-sensei_

_4. Choji_

_5. Shikamaru_

_6. Ino_

_7. Asuma_

_8. Shino_

_9. Hinata_

_10. Kiba_

_11. Kurenai_

_13. Neji_

_14. Rock Lee_

_18. Gai_

_15. Tenten_

_16. Gaara (If he doesn't kill me first)_

_17. Temari_

_18. Kankuro_

Naruto stared happily at his list. His first victim would be Sasuke. He smiled when he thought of messing up Sasuke's training, even if it was only for a day. He carefully folded the list, and put it in his pocket, along with the rubber band ball.

Naruto exited his small apartment, locking the door, and stretched a little bit before he took off running toward the training grounds.

"I'M-" He twisted his upper body "READY!" He then touched his toes-"I'M-" He jumped up and down, "READY!" He bellowed, twisting his body one last time.

He shook his head and looked around. "Whoa… Why is everything blurry?" He asked himself. "Been watching to much Spongebob…OH WELL! OFF TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS! BELIEVE IT!"

When he arrived, well what you know, there was Sasuke, throwing shuriken and kunais at various targets. Naruto hid in the trees, positioning himself so he had a clear shot of Sasuke.

Naruto waited until Sasuke stopped for a break. Sasuke walked over to his bag, which lay in a big jumbled heap on the ground. He silently pulled of a fat yellow rubber band from the ball. He looped it around his thumb, and pulled it back. _Ready... _

Sasuke pulled out a water bottle and began to take a drink. _Aim..._

"OWW!" Sasuke yelled when the rubber band hit the back of his head. Naruto, being the incredibly smart and talented ninja that he was, put duct tape over his mouth so Sasuke couldn't hear him laugh.

Naruto took another rubber band, a smaller one, and flung it at Sasuke. This one hit him in the back of the leg.

"OWWW!" He yelled, glaring at the little rubber band on the ground. It looked like a little fried worm, like the kind that dry up on the side of the road after it rains. Naruto was laughing so hard, he thought he might fall out of the tree.

His whole body was shaking from laughing, and he slowly took another rubber band—and hit Sasuke right in the forehead.

"Who is doing that! Show yourself!" Sasuke yelled, glaring in the general direction of Naruto.

Naruto took another rubber band, a fat blue one that was even thicker than the first one, and pulled back… _Ready..._

"Hurry up! Show yourself, you coward!" _ Aim..._

"AAIIIEEEE!" Naruto hit Sasuke right between the legs.

_(Let us journey onward into a bird's eye point of view. Take a deep, relaxing, breath and focus on this screen in front of me. We see in this small section of the Konoha (points on a TV screen) many birds flying away due to and extremely loud, feminine, echoing scream. Thank you for your time.)_

He had never actually heard Sasuke scream like a girl before, and now that he thought about it, he had never even heard Sasuke scream at all.

The very thought sent him into a laughing frenzy, but instead of being a 'Ha ha ha,' it turned out more of an 'Mmah mmmfff mmha,' due to the fact that there was still a large piece of duct tape stuck to his mouth.

He accidentally slipped on the branch he was standing on, and plummeted to the ground, in plain view of Sasuke, who was laying on the ground holding himself. (I think you get the picture.)

"Naruto…" He rasped out, in a squeaky voice. "You piece of crap…you are so dead…"

**El Fin**

**Thank yall for readin'! Leave some reviews for chapter won…. BY BYE!**


	3. Now for Sakura!

**I'm really glad you all liked it! And yes, I will keep writing it, until it is finished, and who knows what will happen? Will Naruto meet an impending doom? Or will he escape and be the hero of the story? You don't know, but I sure do!**

**BWAHAHAH!**

**Chapter 2, Now for Sakura!**

_1. Sasuke_

_2. Sakura_

_3. Kakashi-sensei_

_4. Choji_

_5. Shikamaru_

_6. Ino_

_7. Asuma_

_8. Shino_

_9. Hinata_

_10. Kiba_

_11. Kurenai_

_13. Neji_

_14. Rock Lee_

_18. Gai_

_15. Tenten_

_16. Gaara (If he doesn't kill me first)_

_17. Temari_

_18. Kankuro_

Naruto once again stared at his list. He began to have second thoughts about getting Hinata with his demon rubber bands. (That was the name chosen for them after his last encounter with Sasuke.) After all, she was one of the only people who had ever been nice to him. So, he took out his pencil, and crossed of her name, deciding it was for the best. Anyway, onto Sakura!

Sakura was found out and about, shopping for any thing that caught her eye. But first, before she could use the money she had to buy things for herself, her mother made her go to the market to buy food for their family.

Naruto was already contemplating his attack. He didn't really want to hurt Sakura, like he did Sasuke, but he figured by causing chaos in her environment (for those of you who are to stupid to get it, I mean the grocery store do-hiky-thing-a-ma-bob)

Any way, he hid on the roof of the building, once again taking out his rubber band ball. He carefully chose a medium sized red one, which he placed around his thumb, and pulled back.

Sakura picked out some vegetables and fruits from the various vegetable and fruit stands, and was weaving in and out of people to get to the apples.

Naruto looked at the pyramid of apples, which looked like the it was in the direction Sakura was headed. He smiled when he realized that what he was about to do would require no duct tape. _Ready..._

Sakura began looking at the apples, and picked the ones that she liked off the top. If she picked the ones near the bottom, the whole pyramid would collapse. _Aim..._

"OWW!" She yelped, when she felt a sting on the back of her head. Naruto pulled of another rubber band, and pull back, once again taking aim. This time, he hit a random person, deciding that if they felt they were under attack, it would be even funnier. (Well, I'm sorry, but to me, this story has been pretty dull so far.)

Naruto picked what looked to be the fattest rubber band in the bunch. He aimed for the apples…

**A few minutes later…**

"AAAHHHH! WE'ER UNDER ATTACK! SOMEBODY HELP!"

"NO! MY CABBAGES!"

"RUN!"

"HELP! SOMEBODY CALL 911!" (Do they even have 911?)

"MY LEG!"

"WE HAVE A 2319! HELP! SOMEBODY CALL A PARAMEDIC!"

"AAAHHH!" Naruto pumped his fist in the air. WOO HOO! There was nothing but complete chaos in the market! After the apple pyramid had collapsed, and the ramen pyramid, and the cabbage pyramid, and the soup pyramid, and several other pyramids, Naruto had the entire market believing they were under attack!

Some people thought it was aliens, other thought it was Martians, and still others thought it was enemy ninja. But the best part was, at least Naruto thought so, was when he made a large can of chicken noodle soup explode right onto Sakura.

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Sakura ran around in a frenzy like everybody else. She had completely given up on her fruits and veggies, and dropped the bag and attempted to run after an apple exploded in her face.

"OWWWW!" something kept on pelting the back of her head, occasionally her leg or arm. "OW!" she darted for an opening. "OW!" opening closed. "OW!" Runs toward another opening. "OW!" she saw the opening close. "OW! WHAT IS DOING THAT?" She yelled, and turned around, and saw a trail or rubber bands behind her. She picked it up, and looked at the roof where Naruto was standing, laughing. He seemed to notice her staring at him.

Naruto took another rubber band, and aimed for the cans next to Sakura. He let it go—

_BLAM!_ "GYAHHH! NARUTO! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

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**EL FIN**

**Well, there was chapter three. i promise, the one with kakashi is going to be much better. R&R!**


	4. Kakashi sensei, Here I come!

**Sorry this took sooooooo long to update... i've just revently recovered from the disease of DEATH TO THE INTERNET. (dies)**

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**Chapter 4**

**Kakashi-sensei, here I come!**

_3. Kakashi-sensei_

_4. Choji_

_5. Shikamaru_

_6. Ino_

_7. Asuma_

_8. Shino_

_9. Kiba_

_10. Kurenai_

_11. Neji_

_12. Rock Lee_

_13. Gai_

_14. Tenten_

_15. Gaara (If he doesn't kill me first)_

_16. Temari_

_17. Kankuro_

Naruto hopped from roof to roof, laughing at what he had just done.

"_UZUMAKI NARUTO WAS HERE!!! BELIEVE IT!!! REMEMBER IT!!! LET IT HAUNT YOU IN YOU'RE DREAMS!!! FOR I WILL BE THE GREATEST HOKAGE EVER!!!"_

_(crickets chirping)_

_All the people went silent after his little outburst. They all blinked, as if on cue, together. "Whoa…You people are really well trained. Can you do that again?" and so they blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked and blinked again until—_

_Naruto hopped away laughing._

His all powerful list of victims told him that Kakashi was his chosen to be his next victim. His rubber band ball felt lighter in his pocket and was considerably smaller than it was before, seeing as he had used so many of them at the market. He would probably need to buy more by the end of the day.

Kakashi was found sitting by the memorial stone, reading—you guessed it—Icha Icha Paradise.

Naruto picked out his next rubber band; a small plain one that looked like again like a dried up worm. He carefully pulled it back, trying not to break the crusty thing, and flung it at Kakashi.

Naruto watched with glee as it sailed towards his sensei's head. He once again took out his duct tape and put several pieces over his mouth this time.

"Waiw, wuh hus ah-ennn?" (Wait, what just happened?) He said through the tape. The rubber band did hit Kakashi, but much to Naruto's surprise, (and mine as well,) his hair absorbed it!! Is it some sort of jutsu? A kekkei-genkai? Naruto was fairly surprised at his sensei's ability to ward of his rubber followers. Naruto felt compelled to throw a screaming fit at Kakashi lack to cooperate, but settled for carefully coming up with a devious plan to annoy the shit out of the oblivious jounin.

Angry, he took another one, and flung it at Kakashi's hair. Once again, absorbed. "WUHHH??? OZZ EE A A EEN AIR??"(WHAT? DOES HE HAVE MAN EATING HAIR or something?)

Naruto felt his temper rising. How was this supposed to be any fun if he couldn't even hit his sensei? He eyed the book in Kakashi's hands, and took out another rubber band.

Naruto once again, hooked it around his thumb, and pulled back. Kakashi slowly turned the page. _Ready..._

Naruto smiled malevolently behind the tape. Kakashi turned another page, unaware what was about to happen. _Aim..._

The dirty yellow rubber band sailed toward his senseiwith a small but noticable _twang_. But this time, instead of hitting and being absorbed by his hair, Naruto hit Kakashi's Icha Icha paradise right out of his hands.

And it fell, right into a puddle of mud.

Kakashi eyed Naruto's retreating figure, although the genin appeared to be having a seizure wile he ran, quite frantically, away from the angered jounin. His orange outfit no longer in sight, Kakashi pondered several means of revenge for his now mud stained book, which he held pathetically in his hand.

Ah, yes, revenge would most definitely be sweet.

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**Rather short, in my opinion… And once again I'm sorry... I wrote this a looooong time ago and let it rot on my computer. (almost forgot, actually)**

**My split personality and i love reviews!**


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